i got aol nine point zero today. it's crazy there are so many new features to learn and i don't even know what. insane. i could spend hours here trying to figure this crap out,

who has the best girlfriend on the face of the planet? this guy does. i can't even tell you. jenni...you are wonderful

"dream deferred"- langston hughes

what happens to a dream deferred?
does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun
or fester like a sore-and then run?
does it stink like rotten meat?
or crust and sugar over-
like a syrupy sweet?
mayber it just sags
like a heavy load.
or does it explode?

forgive me my friends...it's been four days since i last updated my blog, leaving you all hanging on what's going on in my life. unless of course i've told you over the past week, you know...when i see you. let's go with this weekend. friday was senior show. kind of sad, but way more "oh my god thank god we are done with this". i think the concert and banquet are going to be way more emotional, mostly because there is still the possibility of a playoff game that we will be going to...so the "last game" feeling wasn't really there for this one. after the game we all chilled at surniak's. fried chicken, pizza, coffee, etc. good fire in the back yard, then being warm in the basement. andrew and josh made me do "shots" with them. now mind you...shots are actually shot glasses filled with whatever random beverages they can find and then mixed together to make some kind of suicide-concoction thing. gross. strawberry gatorade/grape kool-aid/lipton brisk iced tea was my mix. i did seven. and wished i hadn't. but don't worry, i'll probably do it again, because what else is there to do? good times. this morning jenni, sarah, david, rachel and i went down to the health museum for the juno jog five k run. it was a good run. we started together, but then dave pulled ahead, and jenni and were ahead of sarah/rachel. then jenni wanted to walk for a bit, so caught up to dave until about the two-and-a-half mark, and then he slowed down too. i finished in twenty-four, forty-five. which surprised me. i haven't run for like six months and i can still pull off about an eight minute mile consistently. i've decided to continue this running thing, because i had forgotten how good it feel to finish the race with a huge kick and know that you just ran for three point one miles. i love running so much, i just tend to forget that. anyway. then we went home. oh boy, key club time. we went to the division meeting and left like half way through because we didn't want to stay. and as soon as i'm done writing this, i'm going to frisbee. then, off to the spaghetti dinner at my church. oh man. non-stop fun. (except for when we stopped at the key club meeting, and oh yeah...the spaghetti dinner). ok, i'm off. happy hunting, for whatever.

and just like that, a hayride fixes things. and the world is in its proper place.

so its over. just like everything else that has ever gone right in my life, this too has ended, leaving me with a gaping hole in the middle of my chest that i have no idea how to fill. no one should ever, ever have to feel like this. this is pain so intense that i can no longer feel any emotion. and what makes it better is that i don't know why.