the next time someone comments on this blog without saying who they are is the day that i turn off comments. you know who i am, don't say things and then hide who you are. have the balls to say it and your name. that shit just pisses me off.

there's a reason i don't answer my phone, there's a reason i'm never online, and there's a reason i don't return people's messages. its because when i do it gets too hard. the longer i go without contact, the easier the distance is to deal with. i pick up the phone and i get ready to call, but i just set the phone down because as much as that hurts, it's a lot less painful than talking would be. because i'll get off the phone or turn off my computer and i'll have to sit there and think about it. and it will make things just a little harder. so that's it, i hope you understand. i doubt you do, because i have trouble understanding it myself. just accept that that's the only thing i'm strong enough to do.

my theatre responisbilities are now done for the quarter. even thought there's only like two weeks left in the quarter, then it starts again with a vengeance. but, it's good now. so i can talk to people again, and update my blog. be prepared for some serious blog action (compared to what you've gotten recently, or not, as the case may be). i talked to jenni tonight for the first time in god knows how long. in some ways it's almost better not to talk to the people you love when you're busy, because the longer you don't talk... the easier it is to forget that you miss them. it was great to talk to her, and it was our first real conversation in months, but i sat back after we got off the phone and i wanted to hop on a plane and go to cleveland to see her. but i can't. there's this whole school thing. she's a big reason why i'm hardcore trying to find a job at home instead of like camp or somewhere not cleveland. i don't know that i can go that long again without seeing her. but, what happens happens, and we take it a step at a time. that's all for now.