i've started writing again. not here obviously, but i have been writing.

i've been working to hard and not enjoying myself enough.
i can't figure out when i stopped having fun here.

there is no defining moment in my career here that turned things for the worse. but it happened somewhere.

i am stifled by my own mind.
i have so much to do that i get overwhelmed and can't figure out where to start and so i just shut down.


and don't do my work.

the party this weekend was kind of fun, though not the fufilling experience that i had hoped it would be.

we become so absorbed with what it will take for us to get out of here that we have trouble focusing on what we're actually doing at this moment.

that scares me.
i once thought that i thrive on pressure and time constraints.
i find that it now just paralyzes me.

my show started rehearsals today and i already have a mountain of paperwork to do.

plus... you know... homework.

being a theatre major was going to be easy.

and it is.
but it's a lot of work.

i need to sleep for a week.
i get four hours tonight.

i'm forgetting what it means to be myself.
helpmetoremember.