enter the new year. here it is. in three hours it will be two-thousand and five, and i feel the same way as i did in two-thousand and four. i'm done. high school is over. i'm tired of making resolutions that i never follow through with. this year, is different. i'm going to feel good, the way i should. i'm going to actually get myself into shape, the way i've been telling myself since i quit karate. i'm going to do well in my classes. i'm going to get on my way to a rhodes scholarship. i get a rhodes scholarship. not i will try, i will. "do or not do, there is no try," if i may qoute yoda. i will tell jenni how i feel, and i will do it without being upset, because i'm not anymore. this kind of self-assurance and revival doesn't just come with the new year, it comes from a long time of not doing anything. it's just convenient that it comes on the new year, so that i have a time frame that i can judge myself on. but i won't judge myself.

Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry
So just say how to make it right
And i swear i'll do my best to comply
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
I feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why i have to leave
So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling i love you so...
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures
I admit that i have made mistakes and i swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure i can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye

this song is how i feel, except i haven't told her. so you know what. here it goes, things are going to change...you watch. by the way, happy new year.